Strange Things | A Stork of Genius

A Stork of Genius

erratic_prophet | 12 May, 2005 16:44

My mother-- like many other mothers, I'm sure-- is rather fond of watching Lifetime movies. She has somehow wrangled my daughter into watching them. The problem with this-- besides the whole watching Lifetime movies thing-- is that my daughter has the attention span of a golden retriever on crack. She spends most of the movie asking questions about what she just talked over, not realizing that no one else heard a damn thing over her yammering. This has lead to the rule "Mouth shut, ears open". I should mention that my daughter isn't a follower of rules.

So after our Mother's Day breakfast, and Golden Girls, a Lifetime movie comes on. I groan, but suffer (mostly) silently. It's Mother's Day, after all. I'm forced to explain mental retardation to her because one of the lead characters is playing a mentally retarded woman. I also make sure to explain that it's only an actress playing a role because The Girl? Is quite literal at times.

The movie goes on and the grandmother dies of a stroke. This lead to this conversation..

The Girl: "Is she dead?"
Me: "Weren't you paying attention?"
The Girl: "But did she die?"
Mom: "If you would just stop talking long enough to hear what's going on.."
The Girl: "But is she dead? Wait.. They're taking her to the hospital...?"
Me: "They put the sheet over her head. They generally don't transport people that way.."
The Girl: "She's dead..? How'd she die?"
Mom: "You were just watching this.."
The Girl: "But how did she die?"
Me: "A stroke! The woman just said!"
The Girl: "What's a stroke?"
The Boy: "Duh! It's a big bird with a long beak and it can peck you!"
Me: "That's a stork!"
The Boy: ".....oh.."
Mom: "Hee! I was wondering what he was going on about.."
The Boy: "What's a stroke? It's not a bird?"
Me: "Not a bird.."
The Boy: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Very!"

I don't think he'll become a doctor..